She sat in the all-hands meeting, scanning the leadership panel on stage. Ten faces. Not one that looked like hers.
It wasn’t the first time. It probably wouldn’t be the last. But something about that moment crystallized a feeling she’d been carrying for months. It was a quiet question she couldn’t shake: Do I actually belong here?
If you’ve ever felt like the odd one out in a room full of decision-makers—whether because of your background, identity, age, or the unconventional path you took to get there—you know this feeling. It’s not always dramatic, but sometimes it’s just a low hum of doubt. A sense that the people shaping your workplace don’t quite see you. And when that happens, belonging at work becomes something you have to fight for rather than something freely given.
Here’s the thing, though, belonging doesn’t have to come from seeing a mirror image of yourself at the top. Sometimes, it’s something you build deliberately, strategically, and with quiet defiance.
Why Representation Still Matters
Representation in leadership matters enormously. Research from McKinsey found that companies in the top quartile for ethnic and cultural diversity on executive teams were 36% more likely to achieve above-average profitability. When people see leaders who share their experience, it sends a powerful signal: someone like me made it here.
But waiting for representation to arrive before you feel like you belong? That’s handing your sense of professional identity to someone else’s hiring decision.
The real shift happens when you stop looking for belonging in the org chart and start creating it in the spaces you can influence. That doesn’t mean accepting a broken system. It means refusing to shrink while the system catches up.
Reframe What Belonging at Work Actually Looks Like
We often think belonging means fitting in, but it doesn’t. Fitting in asks you to mould yourself to existing norms. Belonging says: I’m here, as I am, and I add value because of who I am and not in spite of it.
Brené Brown draws this distinction beautifully in Braving the Wilderness: “true belonging doesn’t require you to change who you are. It requires you to be who you are.”
In practical terms, that means three things:
- Stop performing proximity to power. You don’t need to mimic the communication style, interests, or self-presentation of existing leaders to be taken seriously. Bring your own voice.
- Name your value clearly. If no one in leadership shares your background, your perspective is rare, which is valuable. Frame your difference as a strategic asset, not a deficit.
- Seek connection, not validation. Belonging grows in relationships where you’re seen and respected. One genuine ally matters more than a hundred polite nods from leadership.
Belonging is something you practice through the relationships you build, the spaces you shape, and the refusal to make yourself smaller for someone else’s comfort.
Build Your Belonging Network
Here’s where strategy comes in. If the leadership team doesn’t reflect you, you need to build a network of people across the organization (and outside it) who anchor your sense of professional identity.
This isn’t about formal mentorship programs, although those can help. It’s about intentional connection.
1. Look Laterally, Not Just Upward
Peers who share your experience can be powerful allies. They validate what you’re feeling, challenge your blind spots, and create a sense of shared purpose. Employee resource groups (ERGs), cross-functional projects, and even informal coffee chats can become the foundation of this network.
2. Find Sponsors, Not Just Mentors
A mentor gives advice. A sponsor puts your name forward when you’re not in the room. Various workplace studies show that professionals with sponsors are more likely to move up in their careers than those without. If leadership doesn’t look like you, a sponsor who does see your potential can bridge that gap.
3. Go External
Professional communities, industry groups, and digital networks like LinkedIn can offer belonging that your workplace doesn’t. Sometimes the most affirming thing is connecting with people in your field who do share your journey. It reminds you that your experience is always in movement.
Lead From Where You Are
One of the most empowering things you can do when you don’t see yourself in leadership is to lead anyway. Not with a title but with influence.
This looks like mentoring someone newer than you who shares your background. It looks like speaking up in meetings with informed, well-timed contributions. It looks like volunteering for visible projects that put your skills front and center. It’s what researchers call “glamour work” as opposed to the invisible “office housework” that research shows disproportionately falls on women and underrepresented groups.
When you lead from where you are, you do two things simultaneously. You build your own credibility and career capital. And you become the representation someone else is looking for.
That’s not a small thing. That might be the most important thing.
Protect Your Energy While Pushing for Change
Building belonging in spaces that weren’t designed for you is real work that requires emotional, cognitive, and relational energy. And it can be exhausting.
You don’t have to educate every colleague who says something tone-deaf. Or be the sole voice for diversity in every meeting. You certainly don’t have to carry the weight of systemic change on your individual shoulders.
Set boundaries around what you’ll take on and what you won’t. Choose your battles with intention. And remember: advocating for change and preserving your wellbeing aren’t competing priorities. They’re interdependent. You can’t pour from an empty cup, and the world needs you at full capacity.
Belonging at Work is a Work in Progress
Belonging isn’t a feeling that magically appears when the right person gets promoted. It’s something you practice through the relationships you build, the spaces you shape, and the refusal to make yourself smaller for someone else’s comfort.
If you don’t see yourself in leadership right now, let that fuel you rather than diminish you. Build your constellation. Lead from where you stand. Protect your energy. And know this: the fact that you’re asking the question—where do I belong?—means you’re already closer to the answer than you think.
Because people who don’t belong don’t wonder about belonging. They’ve already left. You’re still here. That’s your starting point. Now build from it.
