Your colleague interrupts you for the third time in a team meeting, then credits your idea to someone else. Your manager asks if you’re “feeling okay” when you push back on an unreasonable deadline. It’s something your peers do routinely without question.
Or how about a “You’re so well-spoken” comment that landed with a smile across a boardroom table but with a sting you couldn’t quite name. You most likely second-guessed your reaction (“Of course, it wasn’t a microaggression”), laughed it off, and told yourself not to make it a big deal. But your focus slipped, and your confidence dimmed a notch.
None of these moments feel big enough to report. Yet they accumulate like sediment, gradually eroding your confidence and energy until one day you realize you’ve started second-guessing yourself, staying quiet when you used to speak up, or shrinking to make others more comfortable.
You’re not imagining it.
The Real Cost of “Small” Slights
Microaggressions—those everyday comments, questions, or behaviors that communicate subtle hostility or dismissiveness toward marginalized groups—are far more common than most organizations admit. Research shows that roughly 74% of workplace professionals experience them, with 26% reporting personal encounters and 36% witnessing them directed at colleagues.
The cumulative impact of these behaviors is measurable and real. Studies link workplace microaggressions to depression, anxiety, emotional exhaustion, and an 83% increase in burnout risk. They also correlate with lower job satisfaction, reduced productivity, and higher turnover. This means they don’t just harm individuals; they diminish organizational performance.
What makes microaggressions particularly insidious is their ambiguity. Was that comment actually dismissive, or are you being too sensitive? Did they mean it that way? The doubt itself becomes exhausting, adding cognitive labor to an already demanding workday.
But here’s what I want you to understand: The fact that these moments are subtle doesn’t mean they’re insignificant. Your experience is valid, your reaction is justified, and you don’t have to choose between protecting yourself and protecting your career.
Dealing with microaggressions is about building the muscle to recognize what’s happening and making strategic choices.
Framework for Dealing With Microaggressions
When facing a microaggression, you have three strategic options, each appropriate for different contexts: let it go, address it immediately, or bring it up later. The key is making the choice deliberately rather than defaulting to silence out of fear or uncertainty.
Discern What Matters to You
Not every battle needs fighting, and strategic silence is sometimes self-preservation, not surrender. Ask yourself: Is this a pattern or a one-off? Does this person have influence over my work or reputation? Will addressing it cost me more than it benefits me?
Document What Happened
If you decide to respond, documentation becomes your ally. Write down what happened, when, who was present, and the specific language used. This is professionalism not paranoia. These records provide clarity if you need to escalate, help you identify patterns, and validate your experience when doubt creeps in.
Respond With Intention
Addressing it in the moment can be powerful but requires careful calibration. Start with curiosity rather than accusation. Try:
- “Can you clarify what you meant by that?” or
- “I’m curious why you assumed that about me.”
This approach gives the other person a chance to course-correct while putting them on notice that you’re paying attention.
If the moment isn’t right, bringing it up later allows for more thoughtful framing. Request a private conversation: “Can we talk about what happened in yesterday’s meeting?”
Then focus on impact, not intent: “When you interrupted me repeatedly, it undermined my credibility with the team. I need that to change.”
Protecting Your Sense of Self
Here’s what often goes unsaid in workplace advice: You shouldn’t have to be diplomatic all the time. The emotional labor of constantly managing other people’s comfort while navigating their disrespect is exhausting and unfair.
Recent research from MIT and Harvard identifies two stances people adopt after microaggressions: self-protective (prioritizing your own emotional safety) and relationship-promotive (working to repair the dynamic). Both are valid.
When you’re dealing with a pattern of behavior or someone who holds power over your career, self-protection might mean strategic distance. That’s not weakness. That’s wisdom. But when you’re working with someone you trust, a relationship-promotive approach can deepen trust and create genuine growth.
The critical insight here is that you get to choose. Your dignity isn’t negotiable, but your response can be flexible based on what serves you best.
Building Your Ecosystem of Support
You cannot—and should not—navigate this alone. Finding allies who validate your experience and stand with you creates both emotional buffer and strategic leverage. These might be colleagues who’ve experienced similar treatment, mentors who can offer perspective, or friends outside work who remind you of your value when self-doubt surfaces.
This ecosystem serves multiple functions. Emotionally, it counters the isolation microaggressions create. Strategically, it provides witnesses and support if you need to escalate. Professionally, it opens pathways to opportunities and advocates who will amplify your contributions when you’re not in the room.
Also critical: Invest in practices that reinforce your sense of self outside of work’s judgment. Whether that’s a creative pursuit, physical activity, community involvement, or relationships that affirm who you are beyond your job title—these anchors keep you grounded when workplace dynamics try to diminish you.
Final Reflection on Workplace Microaggressions
Dealing with microaggressions without shrinking yourself is about building the muscle to recognize what’s happening, trusting your read of the situation, and making strategic choices that honor both your immediate safety and your long-term flourishing.
Some days that will mean speaking up. Other days it will mean strategic silence. And sometimes it will mean deciding that an environment that consistently diminishes you isn’t one where you can thrive, and planning your exit accordingly.
What it should never mean is accepting the premise that you’re the problem. You’re not too sensitive or imagining things, and you’re not overreacting.
You’re a professional navigating a workplace that still has a long way to go on inclusion, and you deserve to do that without becoming smaller in the process. Surviving these moments isn’t the goal. Instead, it’s maintaining the fullness of who you are while strategically managing the reality of what is.
