“I’m fine.”
That’s what I said when a colleague asked how I was doing. I smiled, waved my hand, and listed off a few “self-care” wins:
- Went for a walk
- Had a smoothie for lunch
- Logged off at 6 pm
But inside? I felt like I was running on fumes. My to-do list was a mountain. My sleep was erratic. And though my calendar was full of things that looked like wellness, none of it felt restorative.
If you’ve ever checked all the right boxes—hydration, meditation, “me time”—and still felt utterly depleted, you’re not alone. You might be performing wellness instead of practicing it. And that distinction could be the key to unlocking true recovery from burnout.
The Problem with “Picture-Perfect” Wellness
Social media and modern workplace culture have turned wellness into a performance. From #selfcare posts to corporate wellness programs that hand out wellness checklists like candy, we’re often nudged toward a curated version of recovery that looks good on the outside.
The problem? Real healing isn’t always Instagrammable.
Sometimes, recovery looks like saying no. Logging off. Disappointing others. Or doing nothing (and being okay with that).
And when we try to match someone else’s version of what wellness should look like, we risk bypassing what our own bodies and minds are truly asking for.
Let’s dig into why that matters, especially for early- to mid-career professionals trying to find their rhythm in a high-achieving world.
Performing Wellness: A Survival Strategy Disguised as Self-Care
Let’s be honest: performing wellness can be a useful mask. It helps us look like we’re managing when we’re actually crumbling quietly.
Maybe you:
- Show up to Zoom calls with a smile while internally battling dread
- Post your gratitude list but can’t remember the last time you felt joy
- Follow every productivity hack while feeling less productive than ever
It’s about survival, not deception, especially in environments where vulnerability feels risky or where being “burned out” is seen as a personal failure, not a systemic issue.
But there’s a cost to it. Performing wellness can delay real recovery. Because if we’re pretending we’re okay, we stop asking for what we actually need.
Practicing Wellness: Slower, Messier, and Far More Effective
Practicing wellness means tuning inward before turning outward. It’s not about checking boxes. It’s about honoring what your body, mind, and spirit are truly signaling.
Here’s what that can look like in real life:
- Choosing rest over productivity, even if your inner critic objects
- Saying no to extra responsibilities, even when guilt creeps in
- Letting go of “shoulds” (I should go to that networking event) in favor of “needs” (I need a quiet night in)
Unlike performance, practice requires self-compassion and boundaries. And yes, it’s uncomfortable for high-achievers taught to equate value with output.
But it’s also where sustainable recovery begins.
Burnout Recovery Isn’t One-Size-Fits-All
Burnout, according to the World Health Organization, is an occupational phenomenon resulting from chronic workplace stress not successfully managed. It shows up differently for everyone. So it makes sense that recovery would too.
Some people need solitude. Others need connection.
Some need structure and plans. Others need freedom and space.
Some recover in weeks. Others need months… or more.
There’s no gold star for bouncing back fast. No leaderboard for wellness. What matters is whether the approach feels like it’s working for you.
So if you’ve tried traditional advice and still feel stuck, don’t blame yourself. You might just need a more personalized approach—and permission—to trust your own process.
Three Questions to Help You Shift from Performing to Practicing Wellness
If you’re unsure where to begin, ask yourself:
1. Am I doing this for me or to be seen as “doing it right”?
Is this walk helping me decompress or just checking off a wellness habit I saw on LinkedIn?
2. What would feel restorative right now not just productive?
Sometimes, rest is what moves you forward. Stillness is a strategy.
3. What am I afraid might happen if I slow down or say no?
This question can reveal internalized beliefs that keep you stuck in performance mode.
There’s power in naming your fears. Once you see them, you can choose differently.
Reframing Wellness as a Relationship, Not a Result
Think of wellness like any meaningful relationship; it requires attention, honesty, and evolution. Some days it will feel solid. Other days, distant. But it’s always worth tending to.
You don’t need to earn your rest. You don’t need to justify your limits. And you don’t need to heal on anyone else’s timeline.
Whether your burnout is fresh or long-buried, give yourself permission to practice wellness in a way that aligns with your lived reality without feeling like you need to be someone else’s highlight reel.
Final Thought: Wellness That Works for You
If you take one thing from this, let it be this: You’re not behind or broken. And you’re not alone.
Burnout recovery is about meeting your current self with care. You don’t have to become your old self again (unless you want to). So ditch the performance. Begin the practice. Start where you are.
Because true wellness doesn’t ask you to impress anyone. It asks you to come home to yourself.
